Timidity is not the same as humility.

How could I have not seen that after all these years? Timidity stems from a lack of confidence, whereas humility is seeing one’s self not any higher than one ought to think. I’ve heard this, but I had not truly grasped it.

When it came to the corporate world, I did not consider myself timid. Often, I was one of the first to adopt a new social concept or buzzword where most employees would tread carefully. When it came to the spiritual matters, I knew little, and this led to my timidity in dealing with teaching, evangelism and discipleship. Knowledge about timidity versus humility is not enough. I had to experience them to truly differentiate between them. And also with a little help from one person that God sent my way — an energetic, young lady from Indonesia.

When God gives this lady an assignment, she has the confidence to plan and lead, prayerfully. She has the confidence that if her way is not the way to go, God would redirect her and she would not take it personally. And this young lady makes everyone feel comfortable. There is no arrogance within her — she knows and uses the gifts the Lord gave her, not pridefully, but realistically.

I tend to overanalyze that paralyzes, even with prayer. From this comes my action or inaction. Not her. And from that, the Lord showed me my timidity. My confidence is not in myself but from the Lord. He has gifted me with many things, and I will push forward using those gifts, and if He redirects me, all will be well and good. Nothing personal. His will be done.

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Romans 12:3 “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.”